I Don’t Know What it Was

Is it your contention
that it was Divine providence
or cosmic intervention
or just dumb blind luck?

Was that All Hallows Eve truly holy
or were we just two kids who only
happened to be in the right place
at the right time and in the same space?

Was it kismet for me to
kiss you underneath a November sky
was it written in the stars
that some force would bind our hearts?

I don’t know what it was
but I know it gives me cause to pause and wonder
how I could be so lucky, so blessed. And I must confess,
I don’t know what it was.

Was it destiny for us to go so long
and to be so far apart
at the very start of it all
and still hold on to love?

Or that we would literally survive a war.
Did we somehow beat the odds
or was it just a fluke that no bullet or bombs
had my name on them?

Was it just fortune’s smile
that helped us survive the pressure
and expectation of well-meaning fools?
Rather than smother, it fanned the flame of love.

I don’t know what it was
but I know it gives me cause to pause and wonder
how I could be so lucky, so blessed. And I must confess,
I don’t know what it was.

Was it certain that we wouldn’t turn on each other
when plans failed and friends betrayed
Was it inevitable that we would hold fast to each other
in the hope that better days would come.

Was it grand design or happenstance
that we would survive the numbing effects
of the illusion of the American dream
and leave it behind for something better

Was it karma, serendipity
a spin of fortune’s wheel or divine decree
that would allow us to hold on to love when so many lose their grip
and slip into shadow.

I don’t know what it was
but I know it gives me cause to pause and wonder
how I could be so lucky, so blessed. And I must confess,
I don’t know what it was.

Was it just meant to be? After twenty five years
I am still astounded by your love for me
and the abounding way it causes me
to want to be a better version of myself

Maybe it’s a lot of hard work that’s brought us this far
Sacrifice and striving to think of each other before ourselves
being truly honest and exposing all that we are
Maybe it’s acceptance and forgiveness from a deep well

Maybe it’s driven by some ancient mystery
echoing in hearts through history
born again each time sacrificial love
is resurrected with tears and blood

I don’t know what it was…